


December 20: new age enlightenment

by dizzy



Series: 2017 (the darkest timeline) daily fic advent [20]
Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 21:31:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13085766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: Prompt:The mailman keeps confusing our apartments and giving us the wrong mail and most of the time it is fine and occasionally interesting but I didn't order these dildos, are they yours? Also damn we need to talk...





	December 20: new age enlightenment

Chris raises his hand to knock on the door five separate times before he manages to actually bring himself to knock. Every time he gets his clenched fist in the air and tells himself that this time he's really going to do it, this time he's really going to knock- 

He just... doesn't. 

He can't. 

It's too much. Too embarrassing. Too _mortifying_. 

But the box in his hand gets heavier and heavier with every second that passes, and he can hear the ancient elevator screeching it's way up, and if it opens on this floor that'll mean someone will catch him creeping outside of his neighbors door like a big creepy creep and- 

He knocks quickly, three firm raps against the wood before jumping back and flinching at his own boldness. 

For ten seconds, there's no response. Chris's heart pounds. If no one replies, he can just dump the box and... no one needs to know this even happened. Honestly, he should have just done that to begin with. It's what he's done with all of the other mail and packages that have gotten mis-delivered and he's never felt the need to speak to this mysterious neighbor that the delivery guy is convinced lives at Chris's place. 

Yeah. He'll just leave the box, and it'll be fine. Relief seeps through his body, exhilarating. He did his best, he tried- 

The door opens. 

Shit. 

This guy is hot. 

Chris almost drops the box, catching it with a grace born out of sheer self-preservation. Dropping it is the only thing worse than having to hand it over. He can't imagine, if the things in it scattered, went rolling about the floor... 

He'd just have to move. 

"Uh." The guy - his name is Darren, Chris knows that from the labels on the packages - is staring at him. He looks sleepy. "Hi?" 

"Oh. Um. Hi." Chris thrusts the box forward. "This is yours." 

Darren takes it, peering down at it then frowning. "Did you steal my package and open it? Not cool, man-" 

"No, I didn't-" Chris interrupts him hastily. "It got delivered to me on accident. A lot of your mail ends up in my box. I was expecting something today and I saw this package in my box and I opened it before I looked at the label. Then I realized it was, ah, um, that it wasn't what I'd ordered. And it definitely wasn't mine." 

Darren looks confused, and then he has his lightbulb moment. He uses one fingertip to lift up a flap of the box, and then laughs. 

He laughs - a lot. 

"Oh, fuck, man. That's embarrassing," Darren says, not sounding remotely embarrassed. 

It's unfair, Chris thinks, because he's pretty sure his own face is bright fucking red. It annoys him so much that when he opens his mouth what comes out is, "I don't get it, what are they even supposed to do? I mean - shut up, I know what they do, but why the crystal one?" 

"I'll be honest, dude. I was high as balls when I ordered these. But it's like, healing crystals are supposed to be all about good vibes right? And who doesn't want good vibes in the butt? That's where I want the _best_ vibes. Even though this doesn't actually vibrate. But they should totally make one... a healing crystal good vibe vibe..." 

"Sounds like you've got a solid business plan worked out there," Chris says, dryly. 

"Anyway, I got the black obsidian one because it's supposed to absorb stress and negative energy, and the rose plug just because it looked cute. I could use that as a paperweight, do you think anyone would notice?" 

"I do think people would notice a butt plug paperweight, yes," Chris says. He really wants to take a step back. Or a step forward, because a hot guy is talking about his butt plugs and Chris is a red blooded homosexual male with a sex drive. Either way, it's the standing right where he is that feels very awkward. 

Darren laughs. "Sorry," he says, without saying what he's sorry for. "I'll talk to the office about how you keeping getting all my shit." 

"Thanks," Chris says, and decides a step back is probably - regretfully - the way to go. "I'll make sure to look at the names before I open anything." 

"Speaking of names-" 

"Oh! Chris. I'm Chris." He holds out a hand, and Darren reaches out to take it. The contact lingers for a few seconds and he finds himself meeting Darren's eyes. Fuck, he's so cute. 

"Nice to meet you, Chris," Darren says, and lets go. Chris clenches his fists briefly and then gives a farewell smile, turning to head back to his door. "Hey, Chris?" 

Chris turns around, halfway between their apartments. Darren is still leaning in the door frame, box of high priced chakra aligning natural crystal sex toys tucked under his arm. "Yeah?" 

The smirk on Darren's face grows. "If you ever want a review of these bad boys, you know where to find me." 

Darren winks and then disappears back into his apartment, leaving Chris standing open-mouthed.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [tumblr](http://alittledizzy.tumblr.com)! or [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/alittledizzy)! or don't! your choice! happy holidays!
> 
>  
> 
> this fic brought to you by [chakrubs](chakrubs.com/the-original-chakrub-line/), which is a real thing that really exists


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